Mainline Florida: Link to Mainline Florida.
So, to solve the problem of who’s an innocent victim and who’s a perpetrator of evil white supremacy, we came up with the intersectionality matrix. You want to land on as many intersections of oppression as possible.
So what's your oppressed identity? Use this handy chart to find out!
NOT SATIRE: The above article was a selection from our upcoming book The Babylon Bee Guide To Wokeness. It comes out November 2nd, but it is now available for preorder! Follow the link or click the icon below to get your copy! We had fun making this book. May it be your guiding light to woke virtue in a sea of evil fascists. Also, if you don't buy it, you're a racist.
Phyllis Dillerisms...
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. -Phyllis Diller
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? -Phyllis Diller
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.
-Phyllis Diller
The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
-Phyllis Diller
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out. -Phyllis Diller
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
-Phyllis Diller
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
-Phyllis Diller
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
-Phyllis Diller
Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
-Phyllis Diller
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.
-Phyllis Diller
Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
-Phyllis Diller
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
-Phyllis Diller
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
-Phyllis Diller
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
-Phyllis Diller
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
-Phyllis Diller
My photographs don't do me justice -they just look like me.
-Phyllis Diller
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
-Phyllis Diller
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle keep away from children.
-Phyllis Diller
I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
-Phyllis Diller
The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. -Phyllis Diller
You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
-Phyllis Diller
|
|
|
| |
German Bishops Join the Wolves
Rev. Jerry J. Pokorsky: It’s unsurprising that the Germans endorse same-sex unions but astounding that their bishops are willing to deny their apostolic authority.
An astonishing news item in the Wall Street Journal reports: “At a meeting in Frankfurt, German [Catholic] church leaders voted 168 to 28. . .to adopt a draft statement on sexuality that includes a resolution saying that ‘same-sex partnerships who want to take the risk of an unbreakable common life. . .should be able to see themselves placed under the blessing of God.’”
A priest who has campaigned against longstanding Church teaching rejoiced at the vote, even though it directly contradicted several statements by Pope Francis, saying it was “a milestone in the journey toward a church without discrimination, a church full of respect for the diversity of love and partnerships.”
This concern for “the church” rings hollow. Every priest promises God – through his bishop – to pray the Breviary. On the 27th Sunday of the liturgical year, priests (including, presumably, the German bishops) should have read this passage from Pope Saint Gregory the Great:
"Pastors who lack foresight hesitate to say openly what is right because they fear losing the favor of men. As the voice of truth tells us, such leaders are not zealous pastors who protect their flocks, rather they are like mercenaries who flee by taking refuge in silence when the wolf appears."
Identifying the wolves that threaten his flock is among the many duties, in conscience, that a priest shares in obedience to his bishop. If bishops object to such teachings, they ought to announce – out of mere honesty – that they don’t think their priests should be praying the Divine Office anymore.
Click here to read the rest of Father Pokorsky’s column . . .
Image: A Flock of Sheep Surprised by the Storm by Eugène Verboeckhoven, 1839 [Royal Museum of Fine Arts Belgium, Brussels]
…It’s true that, ever since that unfortunate episode in the Garden of Eden, human endeavors have been marked by a profound and abiding futility. Nothing new on that front. It’s also true that there are signs of life in the Church, in the United States and elsewhere. Such signs are not even that difficult to find if one knows where to look. In 2019, for example, something like 37,000 people joined the Catholic Church in the United States at the Easter Vigil. That’s remarkable, especially considering that the Church in America was in the midst of its worst wave of the sex-abuse crisis since 2002.
But a stream of people coming into the Church, even in the darkest of hours, can’t hide the flood of people – disproportionately young people – leaving or drifting away. We’d ought not ignore the signs of life and hope; but neither should these soothe us into complacency in the face of much larger failures.
The Archdiocese of Cincinnati just recently announced a plan to reduce its 208 parishes to 60 “families of parishes.” When one of the nation’s oldest archdioceses has little choice but to shutter almost 70 percent of its parishes, something is very seriously wrong. This is not the first time an American diocese has been forced to dramatically reduce and restructure its parishes to meet fiscal and demographic changes.
A recent article on this state of affairs from Terry Mattingly, drawing attention to this “elephant in the sanctuary,” quotes a young Joseph Ratzinger:
It will be hard going for the Church, for the process of crystallization and clarification will cost her much valuable energy. It will make her poor and cause her to become the Church of the meek. . . .And so it seems certain to me that the Church is facing very hard times. The real crisis has scarcely begun. We will have to count on terrific upheavals.
Keep in mind, the future Pope Benedict XVI was writing this in 1969. One of the divisions in the Church today is between those who think the “terrific upheavals” can yet be avoided and those who believe the only way toward renewal for the Church is “through.”
Whether renewal comes by avoiding catastrophe or by going through it, history tells us that renewal in the Church rarely trickles down from above. Renewal rarely begins with a grand strategy. It begins with discernment and the choice to trust radically in God’s Providence. It begins with a radical response to God’s call, a “fiat” that is given before, not after, we know where He’s leading us. What God does with this “fiat” is always new and surprising, but the fiat is always the same. Mary, of course, is the prime example of this among the saints.
It is one thing to see the clear hand of providence in the lives of those who generously respond to God’s call when we have the benefit of decades or centuries or millennia of hindsight. In the moment, however, saints-in-the-making are as likely to appear as eccentrics and holy fools as they are to appear as polished leaders with impeccable credentials.
The good news is that there are more holy fools out there than we recognize. And that, as in every age, they are the hope for the future flourishing of the Church: disciples answering the call to be leaven. However dark these days may be, and whether you think we are closer to the beginning or the end of these “terrific upheavals,” as Christians, we always have hope. It is not a hope for worldly success, or even that we will live to see the ecclesial (and social and political and cultural) renewal we hope will come. It is the hope that comes from knowing that however grim the battle, the war has already been won.
Let us be happy warriors.
And…
And…
Amazing player production from front office, really startling, and I love the comb o name from Expos and Devil Rays…
You hear billions and trillions of dollars thrown around
by politicians. They act like this money is petty cash and
can be given at the drop of a hat to anyone for any reason.
This is too true to be funny. The next time you hear a politician use the word 'billion' in
a casual manner, think about whether you want the 'politicians’ spending YOUR tax money.
A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, But one ad agency
did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in
one of its releases:
A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959
B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were.living in the Stone Age.
D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.
E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, At the rate our government Is spending it.
While this thought is still fresh in our brain... let's take a look at New Orleans … It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division.
Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D) Was asking Congress for
250 BILLION DOLLARS To rebuild New Orleans.Interesting number... What does it mean?
A. Well .. If you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman and child)
You each get $516,528
B. Or... If you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.
C. Or... If you are a family of four…your family gets $2,066,012.
Hello, Washington , D.C … Are all of your calculators broken?
Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax (Fed)
Federal Unemployment Tax (FU TA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Tax
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge Taxes
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax (Truckers)
Sales Taxes
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
(And to think, we left British Rule to avoid so many taxes)
STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...
And our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt..
We had the largest middle class in the world...
And Mom wanted to stay home to raise the kids… she could!
No comments:
Post a Comment